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Chum Uber (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Chum Uber Synopsis Plankton decides to operate his own uber to get his mind off his failures of stealing the formula. This doesn’t help much though when his first customers are Spongebob & Mr.Krabs. Characters Sheldon J. Plankton Karen Plankton Spongebob Squarepants Eugene H. Krabs Officers Bubble Bass The Story The story begins inside the Chum Bucket Laboratory. Plankton has failed in another attempt to steal the secret formula. PLANKTON: That's it Karen! I give up! KAREN: What are you babbling on about now? PLANKTON: I am sick of trying to steal Krabs’ formula! I thought I had a foolproof plan in trying to distract Krabs with a silver dollar, then capture him in a trap sending him into flour, then bursting into the Kitchen, spraying Spongebob with glue and then using a feather to unlock the door conjured between the Kitchen and Krabs’ office to use as a pathway to the safe. I would then destroy the safe door with my laser, take the formula and force the customers to say nothing or otherwise they would go boom boom since I gave them three detonators. I would leave the Krusty Krab and become successful! I was told I overcomplicate my plans! I do no such thing! Do you agree computer wife? KAREN(sarcastically): Yep, you are a real basic man. Plankton finishes packing his evil inventions into a storeroom. PLANKTON: So now, I am officially done in trying to steal the patty formula! BUT! I am not retiring! I am now operating an uber to transport strangers and bully them with namecalls during the ride! Oh man I am so evil! KAREN: Operating an uber? Have you even realized that you could pick up thugs armed with clubs or say dangerous sea bears? PLANKTON: Oh puhlease! I am much more dangerous than those wannabes! I even will be carrying my doomsday wristwatch! Like so! Plankton fires a laser beam which reflects off his admiration mirror and fires right into his backside. PLANKTON: OWWWWW!!! KAREN(sarcastically): Oh the utmost hilarity! PLANKTON: Can it you cold hearted robot! Now if you will excuse me! I will go and drive off in my cousin's boat. Its big but its got an elevated seat that allows me to use the pedals! KAREN: He lent it to you? PLANKTON: Knocking him unconscious with a bowling pin and trapping him in his bathtub is lending? KAREN: Ughhhh, why do I even try? The scene cuts to Plankton cruising down Seashell St operating his cousin's boat as an uber. PLANKTON: Ubering is easy! Why haven’t I done this before?! Let alone a Taxi Cab? Oh well, I don’t care! Plankton then gets a notification on his wristwatch that he enabled to tell him who his first customer is. The address is 3453 Anchor Way. PLANKTON: Sweet my first victim! Uh I mean….. consumer! Hehehehe! Plankton makes three left turns, crashes through two boats on the intersection and then makes a right turn down Anchor Way. PLANKTON: Uber is here for…. Mr.Krabs & Spongebob, who finished hosting a party celebrating Plankton's prior failure, are stunned seeing that he is their uber ride to get them to Spongebob's pineapple to host another party. PLANKTON: KRABS?! MR.KRABS: PLANKTON?! SPONGEBOB: Spongebob! Plankton & Mr.Krabs stare at the yellow moron for a second before going back to arguing. PLANKTON: You’re my client?! MR.KRABS: Much to my dismay! Since when did ye operate a cab?! PLANKTON: Uber! MR.KRABS: WHATEVER! PLANKTON: I decided to operate an uber because, I am sick of failing to steal the formula! But now that you are my client! I HATE MY LIFE!!! Mr.Krabs & Spongebob get into the boat. MR.KRABS: Ye better know how to navigate you single celled terrorist! PLANKTON: Ye better know how not to stink! MR.KRABS: Well get used to my stomach then… I ate four hot dogs! PLANKTON: Antagonist! Plankton begins driving. He tries to make this trip as peaceful as possible but.. Mr.Krabs’ stomach growls. Plankton tries to ignore it. Mr.Krabs’ stomach growls again and he releases gas very slowly out of his mouth which sounds like a gas valve turned on. Plankton gets slightly agitated. Mr.Krabs then hacks up a burp and then leans to the side and rips one loud. This finally sets Plankton off. PLANKTON: CONTROL THAT BLASTED GAS ALREADY! YOU ARE THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF A STATE OF MATTER! MR,KRABS: Sorry. Mr.Krabs winks at Spongebob signalling that it may have been on purpose. SPONGEBOB: You got something in your eye? MR.KRABS: Errgh Continuing.. MR.KRABS: You’re making the wrong U-Turn PLANKTON: Oh I’m shaking! MR.KRABS: Do you want me to steal ye/my Money? Plankton forms a murderous face and does what the skin flit says. Plankton continues driving trying his best to keep his cool but Mr.Krabs is making it harder and harder. MR.KRABS: You ran a stop sign. PLANKTON: Like I care I run a stop sign? A police siren is suddenly heard and Plankton is forced to pull over. He is handed a ticket by an officer offscreen. Plankton begins fuming at the mouth. SPONGEBOB: Plankton, you need to know the law of the road. Mrs.Puff always makes sure we do this in class every Thursday after 10 AM! And I always pass! PLANKTON: Just clam up already! SPONGEBOB: Sorry! Plankton continues driving and decides to put on some music but suddenly he hits a bump sending a juice pouch Spongebob was drinking out onto the streets. SPONGEBOB: Oh no! My juice! MR.KRABS: Go retrieve it Plankton. PLANKTON: Why should I retrieve it?! Its his Juice Pouch! Spongebob is shown broken down into the car seat in tears. Plankton bows his head and exits slamming his door shut. PLANKTON(picking up the spilled contents): You are starting to really piss me off Mr.Krabs! MR.KRABS: Oh my, oh the Planktanity! PLANKTON: Grrrrrr! Spongebob happily sips on his pouch again. Plankton's drive continues. Mr.Krabs is loudly clearing his throat. PLANKTON: Neptune kill me! Plankton drives by Clam Ave. Spongebob keeps picking his nose feeling an itch. Plankton is forced to watch it in his rear view mirror and then gets annoyed. PLANKTON: Stop picking! SPONGEBOB: Sorry! Plankton admires himself in his rear view mirror. MR.KRABS: Watch out for the fence post Plankton. PLANKTON: There is no.. Plankton's boat scrapes the post taking the mirror off. MR.KRABS: How about now? PLANKTON: You suck Krabs. Plankton continues his driving. He finally pulls up outside the Pineapple, in a trip that took much longer than it was supposed to. PLANKTON: Okay, here we are! About time! Now pay me $12 and get out before I have a heart attack! MR.KRABS: Sure thing let me check me wallet! Mr.Krabs checks his wallet, forms a sinister smile on his face and hides a huge wad of cash he has to make it look like he is broke. MR.KRABS: Oh my, it seems I have misplaced me earnings! Plankton's jaw drops wide open and leaks some Hershey's Kisses from his bottom. MR.KRABS: Now you must drive me back to me hone to get some more money from me dresser and then drive all the way back here. I will also pay $2 less! Or in this case Spongebob will! SPONGEBOB: I will? PLANKTON: No! NO! NOOOO!!! No you won’t! I have had it! Plankton stomps out of his car. PLANKTON: YOU WERE A REAL PAIN IN MY HINDQUARTERS KRABSY CAKES! Stop signs! Juice Pouches! Nose Pickings! Gaseous Dilemmas! When will it ALL END?! MR.KRABS: So…. You gonna drive me home or what? Plankton's face turns red and he is about to have a nuclear meltdown. Suddenly, he is interrupted by the sirens of cops. MR.KRABS: Yes! The law! About time i caught you red handed Plankton! All those times ye tried to steal me formula! PLANKTON: Why me! Why always me?! Mr.Krabs happily points the officers to Plankton. The officer cuffs Krabs. MR.KRABS: WHAT?! PLANKTON: Huh MR.KRABS: What gives?! SPONGEBOB: Well.. MR.KRABS: Zip it boyo. SPONGEBOB: Sorry! OFFICER: Mr.Krabs, you are under arrest for accounts of tax evasion. This is a serious crime in this county. MR.KRABS: Officer I have no idea what’re talking about. SPONGEBOB: But what about your Instaclam Eugene? Spongebob showcases Mr.Krabs’ Instaclam story which is him burning all of his taxes. MR.KRABS: YOU SIMPLE MINDED YELLOW DOLT! Mr.Krabs is thrown into the cop car and driven away to jail. Spongebob gets out his unicycle and follows to try and fail at bailing his boss out. PLANKTON(getting into his driver's seat): Yes! Retribution be mine! Wahoo! Now since Krabsy is gone, maybe I can steal the formula after all! Bubble Bass walks by with an ice cream but then stops when he sees the boat and not Plankton and thinks its free. BUBBLE BASS: A free sloppy jalopy! Don’t mind if I do! Bubble Bass hops up and Plankton notices. PLANKTON: Ugh… Universe strikes again! Plankton is crushed by Bass's gargantuan butt when he crash lands on the seat. PLANKTON(about Bubble Bass): And nerdy comic book geeks.. Category:SquidwardTentacles35